Chess of Champs
by chaann
Summary: "All Deidara wanted was a moment of his Danna's time, and unfortunately that was hard to get. However after years of knowing the puppet, the young blond soon noticed that the puppet master had a certain fondness for a certain game; chess." No pairings.


Sasori was a busy man and Deidara was too, but that didn't mean the latter of the two didn't want to dabble in other various activities. Like perhaps, oh, spending time with the person they thought so highly of.

All Deidara wanted was a moment of his Danna's time, and unfortunately that was hard to get. However after years of knowing the puppet, the young blond soon noticed that the puppet master had a certain fondness for a certain game; chess.

At first Sasori was down for almost any match with his partner. Showing the young punk who was boss was rather... Fun. Then after awhile is got just plain sad. Then boring. He was done with playing with the brat.  
The only thing that made their matches in the least bit of interesting was when he'd end the game with,  
"If you can't even beat me at chess, how could you ever think to have the superior art? your brain is so dull." and then leave to return to his puppet making.

Oh how that would make Deidara fume.

Yes, at first he had just wanted to spend time with his partner, but now he was at intellectual war. A war he should not be losing.

Deidara hummed after being beaten yet again, sitting alone. There had to be _someone_ out there who was a better chess player than Sasori. If not at least just as good. Someone who could teach him a thing or two.

"Playing chess again I see?"

Deidara glanced up to see a rather friendly face, "Oh hey Kisame Danna... Yeah, just got my ass kicked again, un. Sasori Danna said not to bother him anymore though until I can be a real challenge."

Kisame smiled and put his hands on his hips, "Itachi is pretty good at chess. I know he used to play with Kakuzu from time to time in the past, but then he suddenly stopped."

This interested Deidara thoroughly. Leaning forward he narrowed his eyes and crinkled his nose, "Why?"

"I think it had something to do with him getting bored with it." Kisame sighed, rubbing his hand under his chin as he thought about it. "I guess you really can't beat an Uchiha at chess though."

That was it. Itachi got bored because he was impossible to beat! Itachi would obviously be better at chess than Sasori was! Now, all he had to do was convince Itachi to help him get better...

"Hey. Itachi."

Itachi looked up from his book and his tea, "Oh, why hello there Deidara. What can I do for you today?"

Gnashing his teeth, Deidara then took a deep breath, not looking forward for what was to come next, "Listen here you. I don't like you and you don't like me - "

"I like you."

"Okay!" Deidara hissed, "You like me, but I don't like you - "

"Oh... Are you still mad about that time I -"

"Yes! Now shut up and help me, un!"

Itachi cocked his head and finally put the book he was reading down, "With?"

Deidara held his head down in shame, "...teach me to play chess so I can beat Sasori no Danna..."

Sighing, Itachi looked into blank space as he pondered the idea carefully, "Teach Deidara how to play chess..."

"Yes!"

Itachi gave a small smile, "Alright then I'll do it. Sounds like a fair challenge."

" _Hey_!"

Now as Itachi had said, much to Deidara's displeasure, teaching the younger male wasn't an easy task. Thankfully Itachi was nothing but patient with, what was like working with, a child. However, to shorten the whole process, let us all imagine something akin to a Rocky montage. Eye of the tiger? **Eye of the chess pieces**.

Some of the games were quick and some lasted some time as Deidara contemplated his next move. Sometimes the whole chess board was flipped after Itachi game after game beat the blond in a matter of less and a few turns. Never had Deidara seen such a fiend at chess. Never.

And soon he'd be just as good... Or at least good enough to rub nasty ol' Sasori's nose in utter defeat!

"Deidara?"

The blond looked up from the chess game, panting and drenched in sweat, "Wh-what?"

Itachi handed his student a handkerchief, "I think you're ready."

"R-really?"

"Go get 'em tiger."

-x-

Sasori shuffled into his workplace, ready to get some puppet making done. That last solo mission was a dream! No nattering brat whatsoever to slow him down. No moronic brat who couldn't even win a single game of chess... Ha! Sasori was such a riot. At least he considered himself to be.

"Why hello there Sasori no Danna..."

Sasori flinched lightly up to see his partner sitting on his work desk, toying with a king piece. He oozed with confidence, unwarranted and undeserved confidence. It was ludicrous.  
"What do you want, loser? Didn't I tell you I didn't have time to keep proving you and again and again that you're a failure?" Sasori scoffed.

Deidara however remained silent and continued to stare down his master, haughtily tipping his nose upwards at the redhead.  
"Sasori no Danna, I challenge you to a chess match, un."

Smirking the challenge off, Sasori approached his desk to put his belongings down. Still Deidara did not move from his prominent position. Leaning on the desk he sighed,  
"Deidara, why don't you play with Tobi and leave me alone to work on _real_ art."

Deidara slammed the king down on the desk, narrowly missing Sasori's hand, "I demand a final rematch."

Sasori's eyes flickered to his hand narrowly being smashed, "Sure Deidara. A final game to end it all. There you will see once and for all you are nothing but a loser."

Sitting at another table in the room, Sasori carelessly dumped the items on top onto the floor. He could always pick them up later after all. Underneath the mess was a chess board.  
Deidara in return whipped out his chess pieces, ready to destroy his Danna and throw out the name "Loser". This was going to be the battle of a life time! Or rather, at least until the two found something new to bicker about that resulted in art being dragged into it.

The two sat across from each other, ready to duke it out like real gentlemen.

"Would you like to go first? Or shall I?" Sasori asked, already looking down his nose on Deidara as if the first decision would make a large impression.

Deidara smiled and gestured an open palm, "By all means Sasori no Danna, you go first."

Without even an ounce of acknowledgement, Sasori placed the first piece. With that simple move, Sasori slowly sat back up and crossed his arms smugly, knowing Deidara moved at a snails pace with the game. Before he could even relax into his gesture, Sasori quirked a slender brow at how fast Deidara made a move.

Guess he was impatient on losing.

Sasori reached again and moved another pawn. As soon as that pawn was let go, Deidara was quick to tap his own pawn into place. Again at a high speed.

Very impatient. However if Deidara wanted a war of the one who hated waiting the most; he was going to get it.

Sasori slapped a piece down and so did Deidara instantly after. Again and again this happened, slowly pieces were even disappearing and encroaching on each others territory. Tapping was the only noise heard as they moved and Sasori was more than impressed with the blonds sudden improvement. Such speed and still putting up a fight? Was he cheating? No, this wasn't a jutsu...

What did it matter though? Deidara left a huge opened spot leaving himself completely helpless. In two moves, Sasori would win. He could feel it. He knew it. This battle, no, little spat was over!

"Checkmate."

Sasori blinked, "Pardon me?"

"You. Checkmate, un."

If Sasori could hold his breath, he would be doing so now. However what he did feel was the increasing beat in his living core. That he most certainly did not like.

"You're a loser."

Sasori glanced up, still silent. He was in so much shock, he didn't even hear the mocking. Did he seriously just _lose_ to _Deidara_?

"Brat, what move did you just do?"

"You forgot already?"

"I... Perhaps wasn't paying enough attention to it..." Sasori moved his hair from his eyes as if they were something that could have been a distraction, "I need to make sure you did a legal move." he then spoke, very calm and coolly, even though on the inside he was burning up.

Deidara nodded and took his piece back and put it back in its original place.

"I did this." And with one movement, oh my goodness, Deidara gave Sasori a whopping checkmate.

"..."

"Hey _loser_ , feeling speechless?"

Clearly Sasori was speechless. He needed to keep all that speech held back at bay because if he wasn't careful he'd slip up somewhere with his emotions. Currently he was too busy searching his brain for where he had slipped up before. One moment he had a shoe in to win, the next he...he just...lost.

"Oh my god... I lost to Deidara." Sasori finally said, jaw going slack in horror as the last of it finally sunk in where things had gone wrong. He didn't just lose, he lost hard.

Deidara restrained himself from leaping up from the table and crying out in joy, shaking his ass as he rubbed the stench on failure in Sasori's face. Yes, he restrained himself though and calmly collected all the pieces and put them back in their original places. He knew for a fact his Danna was going to-

"I demand a rematch."

Which in the end got the exact same results as before. Exact.

Sasori went quiet a moment, "I lost again to Deidara... I demand another rematch!"

And yet again Deidara won.

Putting the chess pieces away in their box, Deidara held his nose high, "You know Danna, if you can't even beat me at chess, how could you ever think to have the superior art? Your brain is _so_ dull."

Sasori simply gazed at the blank chess board in a daze, still in shock. Three games in a row. Three. Before Deidara couldn't even beat him once! And now he did it with such grace and ease...

"Bye bye! Thank you oh so much for your time, loser." Deidara called, calmly walking out of the room.

As he made his way through the halls his foot steps got longer and faster. He was practically running, no, prancing down the hall towards the living quarters where there sitting with a new book and a piping hot cup of tea sat Itachi-

"Uchiha."

Itachi looked up from his book and nodded in acknowledgement, "Hello to you too Deidara. How did your little game with Sasori go?"

Deidara's scowl burst off his face like and explosion, leaving behind the giddiest smile the other male had ever seen from the younger male.

"I did it! I beat him! I kicked his ass so hard and called HIM the loser with the dull brain! With such class too, un!"

Blinking slowly at all the yelling, Itachi finally smiled, "That's wonderful to hear all your hard work paid off. Good work."

"Thanks for your help... I guess..." Deidara mumbled quietly, still bitter about the fact he got help from Itachi.

Itachi on the other hand was touched by the simple, 'thank you'.  
"You're welcome, Deidara. It was my pleasure."

-x-

"Itachi."

Itachi looked up from his book and tea and stared up at the man whom called for him,

"Yes, Sasori?"

Sasori narrowed his eyes, "Something weird has happened..."

Itachi cocked his head, "What's wrong?"

"Deidara beat me at chess suddenly. It can't be that way. I'm his senior. I'm the better artist. I'm 'Danna', not 'Loser'."

Itachi nodded, waiting for Sasori to carry on his rant.

"After some hard reasoning with myself, I have come to the conclusion that I need some chess lessons from you."

Itachi put his book down. This seemed familiar. Sure he had given the puppet master tips and tricks in the past while the two of them played, but never had Sasori outright come foreword looking for lessons.

It was worrisome. After Sasori got better and could beat Deidara again, what would the hotheaded blond do then? Itachi frowned. It was an easy answer. Of course it would become and endless loop of training one and then the other. Plus, what would happen if Deidara found out he was giving Sasori help on the side? He just now earned a little peace of mind from the kid... And to be caught helping Deidara by Sasori? Sasori would probably feel betrayed!

"What have I gotten myself into this time?"

"What was that, Itachi?" Sasori asked, fishing out the chess board from under his arm inside his cloak.

Itachi sighed and looked into nothingness, "This is why I don't play chess anymore."

* * *

hi something simple and silly i've been hoarding. bye ya LOSERS


End file.
